Malik's Online Journal
by Crystalline Maxwell
Summary: Malik finds himself an online journal and has a little fun under the name CursedThousandTears PG-13 for language 11-23 (Three days is quick, yus?)
1. Chapter 1 New Journal

Heyo all! Hee ^-^ Meggie's back! 

Yami: someone shoot her. Please. 

Hush fernhead! ^-^; Ano. My epic is -not- on hold, don't worry. And I'm sorry about the lack of updates. My Japanese translator has run off on a trip and cannot translate for me. Therefore, I must wait until she gets back to get chapter three out! Gomen nasai! Twisting Plans will update soon though, if I have anything to do with it! 

Yami: Which means we're waiting another month. 

Hush~! I promise to update more quickly! *cough* At any rate. Disclaimer fairies!   
  


Disclaimer: Megami does not own Yugioh. Megami does not own Malik. As sad as it is, Megami does not technically own anything, nor does she have any money because that was stolen from her. MaicoGreywords is her SN, but if AOL wanted, they could take it away from her.   
  


Thank you's~ 

Pikachumaniac~ I love you! Thank you! PM-chan beta-ed for me. She's the absolute best! Go read her ficcies! 

Peter~ Thank you for letting me use your SN! Even though you don't know me. Hahah. No one IM DuelingKingMalik--he'll get confused =3   
  


Warnings: Mild language. Some OOCness. Author-insertion (not in a bad way!).   
  


~*Thursday, May 22, 2003: New Journal*~   
  


Psycho. 

Fruit. 

Killer. 

Maniac. 

Bastard. 

Deranged son of a-- 

Perhaps I should not type the exact words that people tend to use to describe me in this diary. I mean--yeah, it's my diary... type... thing... but really, anyone who goes online and searches Cursed_Thousand_Tears will find it. I wonder if anyone would actually do that? Look up my user name and find this thing, and then learn all about me. I'm not going to hold anything back though (besides the language thing) because then it's like wearing a mask. I never liked those things, really. 'Neesan used to make me wear one for Halloween sometimes, just to make life seem more normal for us down under ground in that hell hole of a "home" we lived in. I even wore a floor length dress and pretended to be a princess one year (Not that I didn't wear dresses all the time, I mean, we all did. Everyone in Egypt, everyone under ground.), while 'Neesan wore a makeshift prince's suit. We ran around like absolute idiots until dad got back from whatever he had been doing and lectured us. It was strange; he never actually abused 'Neesan or me, even though he nearly killed poor Rishido on a monthly (sometimes weekly) basis. 

The only time dad really did anything to me was when he carved these damn scars into my back. For those of you who read this, and/or are interested in what exactly these scars look like, you can go to 'Neesan's journal. The user name for that one is Lady_Isis_Incarnate, and I assure you, if you go to her web site, you will find pictures of the stone version of the scars on my back. These are not just some silly slashes and scratches, my darlings, these are full out hieroglyphics and carvings of damned monsters. Don't believe me? That's too bad for you dumbasses. Oopsie, I've gone back on my word, haven't I? I'm swearing. Oh well. Don't like it, then leave. You've been warned; I may speak like I've been raised to be some sweet little prince, but my opinions are a bit more... would rude be the word? I think a better one could possibly be risque. That or I've got sex on the brain. Ha, ha. There had better not be any little children reading this... 

Oh yeah, back on the mask thing. I've been reading around on these little sites and much to my surprise, I have found that many little children all over the world (of course, I can only read the diaries written in Arabic, French, English, and Japanese. Silly little languages...) have masks similar to mine. However, their masks are more like "I don't want my parents to know that I've cut myself on many occasions, so I won't let them see how unhappy I am" masks. Puh. Or, the ever popular "I don't want my friends to worry about me; I care about them too much" masks. Although, I guess mine is somewhat like that. 

Perhaps I should tell everyone what a mask (in my opinion) is. A mask is a behavior pattern or personality put forth to keep focus on or off of the person "wearing" it; an act put on to hide pain. My mask, in this case, is to keep the pain away. I guess. I spoke to a girl online about it once--her name was Megami or something, I don't remember it. But she said that these masks are in fact, more harmful to the one wearing it, than they help. I've got a clip from our conversation saved.   
  


MaicoGreywords: You sound a lot different right now than when you were in the chat. 

DuelingKingMalik: Yeah, well... that's life. I was trying to seem 'normal' in the chat. 

MaicoGreywords: You mean you were pretending? 

DuelingKingMalik: Yeah. 

MaicoGreywords: Like a mask. 

DuelingKingMalik: Yeah... 

MaicoGreywords: So you act differently around other kids to hide something. 

DuelingKingMalik: Basically. 

MaicoGreywords: That's not healthy. 

DuelingKingMalik: What are you, a shrink? 

MaicoGreywords: I could be. 

DuelingKingMalik: Yeah, well, what do you propose I do instead? 

MaicoGreywords: What do you have to hide? 

DuelingKingMalik: Why should I tell you? 

MaicoGreywords: Because I want to help you. 

DuelingKingMalik: You don't even know me. 

MaicoGreywords: So what? 

DuelingKingMalik: If you don't know me, you shouldn't pry into my personal life. 

MaicoGreywords: If you want to make friends, you shouldn't lie about yourself. 

DuelingKingMalik: Lol. I guess that's true. 

MaicoGreywords: Tell me? Please? 

DuelingKingMalik: ... 

MaicoGreywords: I've got friends who hide behind masks too. My friend Hoshi did the same thing... pretended nothing was wrong and hid behind a mask. She was always happy and stuff. Then she had a breakdown. It wasn't pretty. 

DuelingKingMalik: You're saying that I'm going to have a breakdown? 

MaicoGreywords: Something like that. 

DuelingKingMalik: I don't plan on it. 

MaicoGreywords: I don't think she did, either. 

DuelingKingMalik: ...brb 

MaicoGreywords: Ne, if you don't close the window, please listen, okay? Hoshi... in her case, there were a whole bunch of problems going on at home and was always depressed. All sorts of strange stuff going on with her and her family. She got really depressed and hid it for a long time. Broke down after a few years and cried practically every night for a long, long time. There was a guy involved too, but that's like... the least of her problems, I think. At any rate--she cried a lot at night... for that matter, so did I. I cried a lot for other things. Had a mask too. She's got a great quote for it... "Every mask has cracks in it", I think it is. Are you back yet? 

DuelingKingMalik: ...Yeah. I'm back now. You're preaching quite a bit, aren't you? 

MacioGreywords: Considering I don't know you? Yes. I am, quite a bit. But... I guess I need to say it, at least as much as you may need to hear it. 

DuelingKingMalik: So you're trying to fix yourself by fixing me. 

MaicoGreywords: If that's the way you see it. 

DuelingKingMalik: Interesting... 

MaicoGreywords: What's interesting? 

DuelingKingMalik: What is your story on it? Your mask. 

MaicoGreywords: You're avoiding my original question. 

DuelingKingMalik: So what? 

MaicoGreywords: If I answer, will you explain yours? 

DuelingKingMalik: Of course 0:) 

MaicoGreywords: ... -o-; you're not being serious. 

DuelingKingMalik: Fine, fine, I will. Promise. 

MaicoGreywords: ... Okay. 

DuelingKingMalik: ... Waiting... 

MaicoGreywords: I'm typing still, hon. 

DuelingKingMalik: Oh. 

MaicoGreywords: My mask's kind of... a repressive thing. Hide behind something that can't be seen to keep from getting hurt. I used to be this super-outgoing little chick, but I got teased a lot as a kid. Beat up, too, although I used to fight back. Then I started repressing everything; anger, sadness, pain, everything I could control, I suppressed. I never really had a lot of friends as a little kid--I was the weirdo. I wore dresses but spent my days in trees and beating up older boys. The girls didn't like me, and the guys thought I was a freak. I became a sort of recluse, and kept to myself, always drawing and writing stories in my head. I got into the whole adolescence thing and tried to get into groups; Girl Scouts, 4H, things like that. Didn't work, and got branded as a freak. I mean--I had some friends, but I wasn't very tight with them at all. They dumped me off into the dust so they could become "popular". Che... then I was a recluse again. And people teased me because I liked things that were considered uncool. So I made my "Mask". I didn't let anyone get to me and put out this horribly abrasive side to myself that I don't particularly like. Y'know? I was a total byatch to everyone around me so that they wouldn't tease me and fight with me. Some way to make friends, huh? 

DuelingKingMalik: Wow, that was a lot. 

MaicoGreywords: It's not all of it, but you get the idea. There was some family stuff involved before I had a breakdown. 

DuelingKingMalik: ...So is this "Hoshi" you? 

MaicoGreywords: No. She's had it worse on different levels. 

DuelingKingMalik: I see. 

MaicoGreywords: Yeah... So it's your turn. Spill it. 

DuelingKingMalik: ...Okay.   
  


And then I told her pretty much the entire story of my damn life. Oh boy. I think I traumatized her because she kept telling me she was sorry. So what if she's sorry? That doesn't change a damn thing! She isn't the one who screwed my life over; it was mainly my fault. If I hadn't ran off to the market that day, dad wouldn't have attacked Rishido, and I wouldn't have killed him. Yeah, that's right, I killed my father, loyal readers. Actually, no, it wasn't me. It was the psychopath that lives in my body! The one that nearly killed me and tried to take over the world! Big, fat, hairy difference, isn't it? If that had never happened, Shaadii wouldn't have been able to convince me that dad's death was "the will of the Pharaoh", and I wouldn't have gone into the Battle City tournament and nearly killed Yuugi, Jyounouchi, Anzu, Honda, Otogi, Mai, Kaiba, Shizuka, Mokuba, 'neesan, and Rishido! Let alone my worthless fucking self! Anyone have a problem with my language yet? I certainly hope so--get your asses out of my journal!   
  


~To be continued~   
  


All right. Like? No like? There will be more chapters, don't worry! This is compensation for not updating the other fic. Gomen nasai minna-san!   
  


Translations for now and the near future: 

'Neesan = Contracted Oneesan, "Big sister". (Whereas (O)Niisan would be "big brother") 

-san = similar to "ms." or "mr.", just generally polite. Added onto titles and names. 

-chan = usually for girls, or as a term of affection. Can also be used to tease someone. 

-kun = usually for boys, or for really tomboyish girls. 

-sama = very, very respectful. Sometimes translated as "lord". Can also be used to distance someone from another person. 


	2. Chapter 2 Got Caught

Really quick in coming out with this, huh? Ohohoh! The next few probably won't be in such quick succession. I'm only putting this one out so they're more like real time. At one point, Malik will respond to reviews, seeing as in real online journals people can comment. Until I can get him to do it, though, he'll keep these coming. There will be one or two entries per chapter depending on the size of the chapter.   
  


Malik: And depending on my mood. =.=   
  


Yes, of course. His mood. =3   
  


Thank you's & Reviews: 

Umi~ I'm sorry I forgot you in the last chapter! Thank you for letting me use your situation, Hoshi-chan! 

Pepsi-chan~Thank you for beta-ing! ^O^ 

Rain-chan~ Thank you too! ^_^   
  


Cygna-hime~ Poor little Malik. So naive at the age of ten! Shaadii has a crush on Mou hitori no Yuugi? Really? That's just a tad wrong. Shaadii is... old! Although, it does kind of make sense, seeing as he worships him. I'm not fond of Shaadi, actually, so I guess that's an excuse for not knowing. Dunno if there really is anyone with the name Cursed_Thousand_Tears, actually. If there is I'm sorry to have stolen their name. ^^ 

Digichick~ That I shall! ^ ~ 

Just Ego~ Yay! I'm glad someone wants me to update! I'm even more glad that you read this even though you say that you don't often read Malik fics. I rarely ever leave reviews unless I'm terribly impressed, so I'm flattered that you left one! Thank you so much! 

Bakura's Baby~ Rain-chan! Don't you dare be mad at me for not putting you in my thank you's for the first chapter! You weren't online when I was having this beta-ed!   
  


~*Friday, May 23, 2003: Got Caught*~   
  


'Neesan came in and found what I wrote. We talked for a good hour about it, and I must say, I said some pretty cold things, even if I did believe them. I still do. I'm a worthless bastard (yes, I mean that in the literal no father sense), but that's all my own fault. Around my "friends" (those "friends" being the people I nearly killed back in Battle City) I'm this incredibly happy little person, slightly perverted, and probably look like I'm on crack or something when people see me on the streets. It isn't entirely incorrect though--the way I act. I just know that there's far more to everything than just some chick's ass, or her boobs. Sure, I like looking, but does that mean anything in the scheme of things? In a thousand years (for I'm pretty sure the damned don't get to die in Hell) will I be talking to Bakura about some French chick's rack? I'm willing to bet that won't be the case. 

We all know that with the evil I have done, I will be doomed to suffer the eternal fires of that damnation. I've ruined the lives of a lot of people, and nearly ruined a lot of families as well. There should be a sin dedicated to me alone! The Malik Sin! Or at least a commandment; "Thou shalt not screw up as Malik hath done." Maybe Yami no Bakura and the Pharaoh can get their own commandments too so I can have the thirteenth one. 

And in case you're wondering how this Egyptian got off on Christianity, let me assure you that I am not some Christian freak. Domino High just has the worst electives ever. There are no creative writing classes, and the art classes do not approve of blood or death on sketches or paintings (believe me, I was in the art class for two weeks). There is an interpretive dance class, but they do not allow real daggers for death scenes. There is a drama class with a "no stabbing" policy. Very sad life I lead. Besides, Jyounouchi and Kaiba are in the drama class, so I cannot be in it. Jyounouchi would most likely kill me, and Kaiba would most definitely kill me. I don't think he's quite forgiven me for having a gang member nearly slit Mokuba's throat--although Mokuba has certainly forgiven me. He and Yuugi are the only ones, though. 

Anzu is still angry that I possessed her in the middle of the night and ran around the Airship. Oopsie? I thought I apologized for taking over her body so many times! Oh well, she's sickeningly idealistic. No loss there. Ryou is fine with me now, mainly because he and I have both been cursed with an abusive dark side. Yami no Bakura, however, has stopped beating Ryou entirely and has even curbed his tongue a bit. I don't want anyone to think of that in a kinky way, although those two certainly have a chemistry between them. A very obvious one. So do Yami and Yuugi. 

Sometimes I wonder why the other hikari's get to be in love with their yami's. I sure as hell didn't get the pick of any litter with mine. Yami no Malik was, and unless he's died in the shadow realm, still is, a horrible, cruel, bastard. He's violent, abusive, and doesn't give a damn about anyone or anything else at all in the world. Stupid bastard other half... 

Where was I? Oh yeah. Electives... Bakura and I got kicked off of the Hockey team because we were trying to kill one another. --'Neesan wants me off, I'll write more soon. If someone reminds me, I'll probably do more on this subject.   
  


~*~ Tuesday, June 3, 2003   
  


Fainted twice today. Found out some interesting things about Yuugi and co. Tell you all later, 'neesan is making me go to the doctor.   
  


~*To be continued*~   
  


Sorry it's so short. The next chapter won't be out as quickly, but I promise the wait won't be too long! I'm not sure how much of my life I can safely tie in to this without making it more Meggie than Malik, so if he starts going too far OOC someone yell at me! Oh yes--my translations:   
  


Yami no Bakura~ yeah, it's the same as Yami Bakura. Goes for Yami no Yuugi and Yami no Malik too. "No" is possessive, so it's like "Bakura's darkness". 


	3. Chapter 3 Confusion by Forgiveness

Please forgive the delay on this chappie! My little brain was having a few...erm, problems with Malik's character. His angst side seems to be taking over! ^_^; We'll get some slap-happy Malikies in here at some point, if I'm lucky. 

Malik: I really doubt that. =_= 

Oh come on, Malik, you aren't always angsty! 

Malik: Bah. I'm doing disclaimer-- 

If Megami owned Yugioh, I would have replaced Yami no Yuugi as main character. And there would be shounen ai / yaoi. Like in Gravitation.   
  


Reviews~ 

benign sadist~ I'm glad you think it's original! ^^ I was worried that someone else would have already come up with the idea, which is why I didn't post it for so long. 

Jay Kamiya~ ^-^ I hope you keep liking it as it progresses--I'm going to have to work extra hard to make it worthy of all my reviews! 

Nezumiiro~ Heh, the only ones that Malik will respond to are the ones that seem to question him. He won't answer everything--that's how he is. =3 

rikus-angel~ the scary thing is how easy it is to write in Malik P.O.V. O.o He's a really deep character though, so just about anything he writes is likely to turn to angst, because he internalizes so much. I wonder, though, if I've put too much of myself into this? O.o; 

Cygna-hime~ That would be a REALLY sexy commandment. (Sorry, I use sexy to describe anything ^^) Do tell me about whatever idea you come up with =3 I was thinking about making a journal account with his name, but I was worried that someone would think it was real. 

RBMIfan~ Ryou and Yuugi were going to find it anyway, but I'm glad someone else thought of it as well! ^_^ I don't think Megami should transfer to Domino, though, because I would wind up trying to take over the story =3; assuming I make a plot. I might make a story just for that... where Megami does go to Domino. But I don't want to have a bunch of people yelling at me for my Mary Sue-ness o.o;; That's what she would be, wouldn't she? Bah, I don't understand the term "Mary Sue" very well @-@ 

Escuro de la Lus~ Hee ^-^ I'm glad you like it. You'll find out what's wrong with him in a while... I'm trying to find out more about it myself =3 Maybe another update before you learn about it, though! 

kaehimi~ ^-^ I think he would write a normal journal too, and I might have him put in some of his writings from when he was younger. When I think of Malik, I think of a lot of things =3;; some of which are a little wrong. But he's an amazing character--writing this is so much fun ^_^ I'm going to try to make a lot more entries by the time summer is up.   
  


Kee~ I don't think I've ever gotten eight reviews on one chapter of anything! ^_^ I'm so happy! 

Malik: Calm yourself. 

Bah! XD Keep the reviews coming everyone!   
  
  
  


~*Wednesday, June 4, 2003: Birthday and Confusion*~   
  


It was Yuugi's birthday today. Fun. I have to admit, we had a pretty good time. Yami no Bakura and I dunked Kaiba in the pool while he was still dressed, which although it may sound suicidal, was fun as hell. He chased us with a lawnmower until Yuugi gave him a time out. Gotta admit, I never would have pictured Kaiba as whipped by anybody. Hm. Maybe he's got a thing for Yuugi and not Jyounouchi? I don't understand those people... 

Oh yes. I mentioned finding out something interesting about them. Well, actually, I am probably the only one who will find it interesting. With the help of the sen'en items, Yuugi, Jyounouchi, Honda, and Anzu went into Yami no Yuugi's kokoro no heya and then later into Ancient Egypt to search for Pharaoh's name. I don't think they found it, but in the interim Yami no Bakura got some memories back of how the sen'en items were made. Of course, not even Pharaoh knows about that because he was only five at the time. 

But the thing I found that was interesting was that they all remain so happy after what's happened. The only person in that group (I say "that" because I am not really a part of it) that did not make it into the kokoro no heya was Ryou, because of Yami no Bakura. Or rather, he was the only one who did not make it in that way. Don't quite know how he did get in, though. 

Somehow they all managed to get into Yami no Yuugi's time to search for his name. Don't ask me how--I was not there. They came back and returned to normal life without any change! As if nothing had happened... 

Yuugi's friends seem to be like that. They don't find it strange that two of their friends have spirits from Egypt inside their bodies, that one of those spirits has repeatedly tried to kill the other, or that they are being dragged along a sort of ride through destiny's little quirks. They're always just... happy with everything. I think it's interesting... And messed up. 

How can people be happy and content knowing full well that two people around them have tried (more than once) to end their lives? Yami no Bakura tried killing them in a shadow game, and I tried to kill them all. Well, Yuugi, Jyounouchi, Anzu, Mokuba, and Pharaoh. I never actually tried to kill Ryou--although I almost let him die. 

Che. I'm such a friend, aren't I?   
  


~*Monday, June 16: Forgive and forget?*~   
  


Yuugi and Ryou found my journal and e-mailed me about it. Or rather, they e-mailed my 'neesan, as I haven't gotten myself an e-mail yet. Maybe I will... I haven't decided yet. Now then, for those of you who don't know them, Mutou Yuugi is the current champion of Magic & Wizards in Japan, probably in the world too. He's this little short kid with the biggest damn heart in the world. It's a little scary, though... how much he's willing to forgive. I mean--my Ra, the kid invited me to his birthday. I tried to kill him less than a year ago! Something really hates me--I think the only reason the gods made Yuugi so forgiving and nice was because it would punish me. Or... I would think that, but I know that it isn't true. Yuugi's just one of those wonderful people that the world needs more of. 

Now Bakura Ryou... bah, I have a lot I can say about him, more than I should even think about. He isn't a very good duelist, he's quiet, composed, polite, and is just as forgiving as Yuugi, if not more so. He and I are very close friends, as are Yami no Bakura and I. (Would it be Yami no Bakura and me? I honestly don't know these languages well enough yet... oh well. It's probably I.) Ryou has long white hair and really pretty brown eyes. And if anyone has a problem with me saying that about another guy, you can shove it. Ryou's too pretty to be a guy. He's forgiven me for leaving a horrible gash on his arm (which hasn't healed yet...) and for dragging him into a situation where he died. It's complicated--he died but he's not dead anymore, and I won't bother explaining because I don't understand it entirely. 

But now that you know about these two, I can get down to it. They never seem to stop surprising me with their kindness. I won't copy the entire e-mail, and I'm keeping their contact addresses secret because I doubt they want rabid people e-mailing them.   
  


"...Malik-kun, how can you be so hard on yourself all the time? Don't you have any idea what a good person you are? Why do you let the past haunt you when we've forgiven what you did?" 

That was part of Yuugi's e-mail. It surprises me (somewhat) that he uses '-kun', seeing as that is kind of affectionate and familiar. But then, he also uses it for Kaiba. Yuugi is just the sort of person who would call your mother "mom" and take your little sister to a dance just so she would not have to go alone. He never stops amazing me. 

I did not respond to his e-mail, because 'neesan did not want her business e-mail getting personal stuff. So I'll put my response here. I'm sure he'll read it. 

The reason I'm always hard on myself is because I really should be. I've hurt the best people in my life, I've hurt people I don't even know, and I didn't feel any remorse for it until recently. If I were really a good person, I would not have done most of the things I did. I've killed people, Yuugi, and I almost killed more. I'm a self-made bastard; I killed my father when I was eleven. Admittedly, I did not realize I was doing it. Yami no Malik took over. But he isn't like your yami, Yuugi... he's the manifestation of my hate. Maybe he was another person at one time, but that's why he is now. Not was, is. We defeated him in a shadow game and locked him into the shadow realm, but I can still hear him in my heart. It's painful to think about. I doubt I'll ever completely sever myself from him. I'm not so good a person as you think. You may have forgiven me, but you're completely selfless..... 

I'll write more another time. I need to go collect myself.   
  


~*To Be Continued*~   
  


Kee. This took longer than I'd planned. Again, hopefully the wait for the next won't be too long! ^_^ Please R&R.   
  


Translation & Notes:   
  


June 4~ Yes, that is Yuugi's birthday. ^-^ He's a Gemini! 

sen'en item~ sen'en means "thousand year," so that would be "thousand year item" In the English version, they call them "Millennium items" instead. 

kokoro no heya~ 

Soul room ^^   
  


June 16~ ^-^ My birthday! XD 

Mutou Yuugi, Bakura Ryou~ In Japan, last name goes before first name. Hence Mutou Yuugi and Bakura Ryou. 

Magic & Wizards~ Also known as Duel Monsters in the English and Anime. ^-^ Wanted to stick to what I know from the manga, as there are some differences between the two, even if both are cannon. 


	4. Chapter 4 MVP

Uwah! Gomen nasai everyone! I may not be able to update for a while, so this is my apology chappy. At least you'll get to find out what Malik's problem is, yes? ^^; 

Malik: Geh, she's making things up. I haven't got problems like that! 

Urusai! 

Seto: *cough* I'm doing the disclaimer. Megami doesn't remotely own Yugioh. Hell, she doesn't even own a car. 

Urusai! ~.~ Seto doesn't love me... I'd better get back to working on the fic he stars in ^_^ Time for thank you's and reviews! 

Reviews~ 

RBMIfan~ Yay! You're one of my regulars =D I don't know what a Mary Sue is, either... just that people don't like them much ^^; If you could plot with me on making a story that parallels with this one, I'll gladly try to write it ^^; contact me on e-mail or AIM 

Jay Kamiya~ The fact that Yuugi thinks he's a good person? Well... with all that he's done to Yuugi, I imagine it would make him feel kind of guilty X-x; Maybe if he gets over his guilt it'll make him feel better, but... *shrug* He's so much fun when he's angsty =D (Malik: I am not!) I'm pretty sure he'll get better about his self esteem soon. ^^ 

imgonnakil~ Aiyaa, Chibi =D one of my chibis. I'm so glad you like this ^O^ 

starryeyz~ Ari~ ^O^ YES. Write me fluff! Onegai! *-* I lurv you Ari-chan~~ *pets the fluff pass you gave me* Mahaha 

Escuro de la Lus~ ^_^ you don't have to wait now! -^^- 

Sherry-chan~ Did the little arrow thing cut you off? =D; Kaiba's Oracle isn't over by far. I've got piles of fanfics with Oracle in them that I just haven't gotten up yet! ^^ Twisting Plans has Oracle as one of the main characters, it's kind of interconnected with KO too =D Dunno that this fic will have a plot, but I'm going to try to bring one in somehow! It's basically just a character pice. ^^; 

Just Ego~ *points to law* see? Right there? It says you've got to log in! =D I rarely log in for reviews anymore. It's kind of silly, though, because you can track what you're reading and see if it's updated if you review it ^_^ 

Elfy-Girl-Juniper~ Sexy! I get cookies! ^O^ 

benign sadist~ Unfortunately, in the series, Malik doesn't show his compassionate side until right before he gets taken out =_= He seems like such a jerk but he's got great reasons! (Malik: Bah.) 

Takuro~ Malik needs to open up sometime =D The shrinks at my past two schools have both said that writing is the best way to get things off of your chest. Or drawing. Malik seems like the type of person who would have to let it out sometime, and as long as he's under an assumed name in a scenario like an online journal where no one could find him unless they really tried, I think he would open up quite a bit. The problem with giving him more energy is that he doesn't seem to have much of it very often. He's the kind of person (or at least, I think) that doesn't want to get too involved in anything. I'm going to have to twist reviews around a bit so that he can respond to them later on, but he'll probably have a lot to say on the subject! ^^ 

@#$&! Ten reviews this time! ^O^ I am so flattered, none of you have any idea. ^----^   
  


~*Saturday, June 21: MVP~   
  


Found out a lot about my mother today. Mama is a subject we rarely talk about here in the Ishtal house, simply because 'neesan and Rishido are the only ones who remember her at all. And it isn't like I've got Da' to tell me (oh, and whose fault is it? Gee, I wonder...). So I sit and don't know anything, and Rishido and 'neesan never say anything either. I guess they must think that I'll be "upset" by it or something... But you don't need to know about that just yet. Why don't we set the stage for our story first, mm? 

'Neesan made me go along with her to the museum for a tour. Some idiot was sick today, so I hadto fill in for him. At any rate, a blonde brat with a teddy bear (oh I hope I never have to see that annoyance again... I'd probably kill her. Seriously.) comes along and starts bragging about her ojiichan's archaeology work and such. Lots of stupid stuff like that. We were going through Pharaoh's tomb replica and she had the stinking nerve to ask wether I'm actually an Egyptian or not. The conversation started something like this: 

"Hey, guide! How do you know all of this stuff? You clearly aren't an Egyptian. They haven't got purple eyes and bleached hair! You look like a surfer-boy!" 

This is one of the things I do not like hearing. I do not look like a "surfer-boy", I look like a blonde Egyptian. (And, according to that crazy MaicoGreywords girl, I'm quite the sexy blonde Egyptian. I think American girls have some serious vision problems.) But, being the calm, mature, under-surveillance-of-'neesan adult that I am, I gave her the best answer that I could: "I know more Egyptian curses than you can count. Don't make me use them." Or rather, something along those lines with a bit more cursing in Arabic. I had no idea that it was so useful to know more than one language. Evidently, knowing conversational French, English, Japanese, Arabic, and Ancient Egyptian, really is some sort of feet. 

Anyhow. We continued along inside the tomb replica and came to our house. Yes, we lived in a connection of the Pharaoh's tomb to protect it. 5,000 years of sitting there. Bleck. (Is bleck a word?) Just like our home, it had a feeling of darkness and dampness. For those of you who haven't come and seen our exhibit, it's basically a bunch of stone walls with carvings on them, some pillars, doorways, the modern things that Da' brought down from the real world: lanterns, tables, books, pens... and stacks upon stacks of scrolls. It looks like 'neesan brought a lot of stuff with her from home. The room where we kept the Sen'en Rod and Tauk was a "run around and play with things" room. Consequently, that is also the room that I murdered Da' in. Greaaaaaaaat. One of the demon children got a "cling to the guide" movement started, and I got piled on. Next to the pillar Shaadii appeared at. I don't remember much after that--just that the next thing I knew was that I was in 'neesan's office being fanned with paperwork. 

She asked me why I had started screaming about Da' in Arabic and why I'd fainted. It scared a lot of the kids. Oh yeah--I was going to tell more about why I faint, wasn't I? Hmm... Well, I've got a heart condition. Not life threatening or anything (although I'm sure lots of people would like that, wouldn't they?) but it's there. It's called Mitral Valve Prolapse. Pretty simple, really--It's a heart condition where the left side of your heart doesn't pump blood right. There are these little flap things that close--your valves. And they're like fringe. One or two of mine don't close properly, so when I get blood pumped into my heart, some of it leaks back out. Therefore, I don't get enough blood, not enough oxygen to the brain, and then I pass out sometimes. Being dehydrated makes this worse. Caffeine makes you dehydrated. 

I like coffee. 

In a nutshell, if my heart races a lot of times I faint. (Unless I've eaten a bunch of salt. That holds water in and I can't get dehydrated. Woot!) In the most recent case, I fainted because I saw all the images of my dad's death and Rishido's near death flashing before my eyes and got terrified. The children piled on me felt like Da's body, and I honestly expected Shaadii to appear in front of me and tell me that Pharaoh had willed his death. And I felt my fear come back to me, and I swear I could feel Yami no Malik back inside of me... And then I couldn't see. And I blacked out. 

The worst thing about that is that when one's yami possesses them against their will, the omote will not get to see anything that happens. It's exactly like fainting. You can't see anything, you can't feel anything, and you wake up later with a big gap in your memory. Ryou has confirmed this for me. 

Oh, silly me, a lot of you haven't heard of yami's or omote's. In my case, a yami was a darker soul created out of my hate for my father and myself and Pharaoh. (I think) because of the scars on my back and the magic in the ritual, the hate was able to manifest itself. Or maybe it was a spirit like the other Sen'en item holders have? I really do not know. I never asked. 

How does this all relate to mama? Well, she had the same heart condition as I do. I think. When we went to the hospital about it and they asked about my symptoms, Rishido said that mama had the same sort of thing. Maybe that's partly what killed her. 

... 

Wow that was a long post. I'm going into hiding now. Next post should be about these review-type-things I'm getting tacked to my journal... I'll touch base on the stuff I promised to respond to, also. Just a sort of catch up. Dunno if I should have said most of what I have so far... 

~*To be continued*~ 

^_^ I'll probably write a few more entries in my binder and type them up when I'm allowed back on the computer. Don't worry, you won't be forgotten! =D 

Translation & Notes~ 

ojiichan~ grandpa. ^^; It's a mix between being formal and informal. 

MVP~ Mitral Valve Prolapse is a real heard condition. I think one in eight people have it, too, so it isn't like I'm giving Malik a horribly rare disease. I don't know that he's got it, or any disease for that matter... but I like making pretties suffer sometimes. (And the information on it is all true--I've got the blasted thing =_=) 

omote~ In Japan, it's 'omote' (front) rather than 'hikari' (light). ^^ Earlier Malik said 'hikari', but he's just making a slip up. I doubt the characters actually know what to call themselves, seeing as no one actually calls Yami no Yuugi or Yami no Bakura that aside from the author. 

Malik's mommy~ she died during childbirth ;-; very sad. But they don't say why she died exactly, just that she did. MVP is hereditary, I think, so I figure he could have gotten it from her. That does not mean, however, that Isis has it... it's not one of those dominate trates. 


	5. Chapter 5 Tenshichan

Here's a quickie chappie =D I really couldn't resist. This one's a little longer than the last, I think, so I hope everyone likes it! ^_^ If anyone has suggestions for future chapters, please e-mail me or put them in your reviews, because I've only got a few more written so far ^^ 

Malik: =_= Seto left. I have to do the disclaimer now... 

Disclaimer: Megami still doesn't own Yugioh. If she did, though, you all know the series would be completely warped. Not to mention 4Kids would have to stop translating it, as she would probably kill most of them off. 

Ohohoh, no one heard that part. ^^;   


Thankies and reviewies~ 

Adelianna~ Yup! It was Rebecca. (Rebeka? Rebekah? I just call her the random brat... ^_^;) I'm glad you like Meggie's attitude, too. I'm glad another person liked Megami--It looks like she's going to have to come back soon. Goodie! And I'm gonna borrow my friend's Evanescence CD so that I can hear the song. And yes--Megami found a picture of him. I haven't decided if it was a matter of her looking up the Battle City participants or if he gave it to her on his own, but either way, she saw it. 

RBMIfan~ Yeah. I think one in about eight people have it? It's something you can grow out of, and like Malik said, MVP is hereditary. The reason Malik hasn't responded to Ryou's e-mail is a-he's lazy, b- I don't know that he would respond to it as easy as he would to Yuugi's, and c- I still have to figure out exactly what Ryou said to him. I have three versions written, but I don't know which to post. 

benign sadist~ Aa, I don't have a psychology degree =D Although I've certainly seen enough shrinks to maybe get one. Did I update quickly enough for you? =D 

Cygna-hime~ Yeah. Hallucinations probably aren't very good for you. And tell your voice that he should come meet my yami =D She'll scare the schmutt out of him! (YamiO: urusai XP) 

Jay Kamiya~ I'm glad someone else knows what it is! ^_^ I've had three of my teachers come up to me and ask me all sorts of stuff about how I felt and if I knew how bad it was for me and stuff... they've all got it. O-o; It's kind of strange, having your English teacher take you aside to check out a your heart monitor. I'm also glad that people don't mind Malik talking about a semi-normal day. I doubt he has as exciting a social life as fanfics make him out to have--I mean, the poor boy probably doesn't have much to do now that his gang is gone and he isn't after the Pharaoh's blood.   


Yeek! I have 30 reviews! ^O^ That's got to be a personal best on a fic like this! (Same with my frequent updates XD) Aa, I don't recall if I've mentioned it yet, but this fic will contain some spoilers of the series. ^^ Not to mention there may be some conflicting information as I figure out what the mangas I own say =D   


~*Wednesday, June 25th: Tori-chan*~ 

I return! Huzza! I'm sure everyone missed me and my glowy happy stories! 

...Not. 

Actually, for once I've got a somewhat happy story to tell. I found a little bird today, one that was just floundering in the park. There weren't any trees around, so I don't think it belonged there. I don't think it belonged in the wild either, I mean this bird... it was white. I mean, stark, bleach white. White like Ryou's hair. I'm not sure what sort of bird it was, and I did not bother finding out. I named it 'Tenshi'. Angel. (Yeah, yeah, naming something gets you attached to it. Shut up.) 

The bird was incredibly cute, I must admit. Little tiny beak, black eyes, and perfectly white feathers. Not to mention it fit in my hand perfectly. Maybe if I could figure out how to scan my drawings I could show you all what it looked like. At any rate. 

Yesterday it was raining pretty hard. I mean, I'm talking 'close the roads, the streets are flooding' rain. Which is really nice to see--I like weather extremes. It's either got to be really scorching 'walk around in your swim trunks and find a ice cave to survive', or damn near freezing to get me happy. But no snow. That stuff confuses me. When it comes to the elements, I'm fond of rain. Not sleet. Not snow. Just rain. Check that--I like looking at snow, just I don't want to touch it. And I haven't yet. 

Oh yeah, Tenshi. So today is an afterglow day. The rain's stopped, the clouds have cleared up, and it's sunny again. I kind of like afterglow days in the summer, because it'll get hot enough in the afternoon to heat up the ground and make steam rise from it. Really pretty. (Geh. Pretty... I've been talking to 'neesan too much). I originally went to Domino Park to clear my head... You see, earlier I was at Yuugi's house playing Monster World with Ryou and a little fight started... 

Somehow Jyounouchi got into an argument with Honda and Yami no Bakura, the blonde dragged me in, and blamed me on Ryou's injury. Which, yes, I'll admit--I'm the reason he got hurt. I asked Yami no Bakura to help me, and Yami no Bakura took out his knife and cut Ryou's arm. I did not ask him to cut his arm up, although it did suit my purposes just fine. From there, Honda accused Jyounouchi of being unfair to my side of the story, Jyounouchi told him not to protect some_thing_ like me, Yami no Bakura let Ryou have control of the body again, which confused the poor boy, and Jyounouchi decided to end everything with his fists par usual. And somehow he managed to hit Ryou. 

A number of things happened there. Yami no Bakura took over again and tried to kill Jyounouchi, first off. Secondly, I tried to help him. No one had better take this wrongly, but Ryou is probably the most important person in my life next to 'neesan, and maybe Rishido. As a result, I guess I've become a sort of second overprotective yami to him, only without timeshare in his body. We probably would have succeeded in killing Jyounouchi if Pharaoh had not dragged Yami no Bakura off of him and Yuugi had not dragged me away. That boy's strong for his size! I thought he'd lift me up! Mokuba helped, but that isn't the point. I would up with both of them clinging to my arms and shoulders with no way to get back at Jyounouchi. Seto had him by the collar of his shirt, though, so I doubt any one of us could have jumped back into the fight. Honda had moved away when Ryou got hurt, so I must admit, he's the smarter of the two blockheads. 

When Yuugi and Mokuba calmed me down, Anzu suggested that I should leave. Note that she did not suggest that Jyounouchi leave, oh no... I'm the one who needed to leave, because _I_ am the trouble maker. Che. 

Yuugi gave me puppy eyes. I think he's got every one of us wrapped around his finger with those. I agreed to leave. Ryou went with me for a few blocks before turning back to the party. He was pretty sympathetic about me getting in all the trouble, and he kept telling me that I shouldn't mind Anzu. Now, normally I would not mind anyone who ran about preaching friendship and stalking Pharaoh's, but she is friends with Yuugi, and therefore is a friend of Ryou's. That and she technically helped me on Air Ship, so I've got to be nice. 

Ryou told me that Jyounouchi and Anzu would come around eventually. And that the only reason they were still being so distrusting of me was that I had come to them originally as a friend and then kidnaped and brainwashed them both. Which I guess, if you look at it that way, makes sense. But I never tried to kill them, and Yuugi's forgiven me. And they haven't _died_ because of me, and Ryou's certainly forgiven me. So I guess Anzu and Jyounouchi are just weird. That or it's Ryou and Yuugi who are weird. (I'm going to go with the other two, though.) 

After he left I wandered to the park and found a nice, quiet place to lay down at. It was on a hill, a little bit higher than a little brook that cut through the park with some nice trees behind it. Right near the koi garden, too. It seems really out of place in a city like Domino--a little place where all you can see is nature, and the flowers block out the smell of just about anything. Especially on an afterglow day. 

Domino park is a very strange place. On one side, there is playground equipment and you can see Yuugi's house. In the middle is a miniature forest with a few creeks running through, and then on the other side is the koi garden and a bunch of greenery. And a vegetable garden. I guess it's sort of one of those romantic places that one would take their koibito. I'm not making that gender specific, because that could insinuate things. (Some people are so nit-picky!) 

At any rate. I was lying there for a few hours or so, I'm not quite sure. There were a group of boys down by the koi garden waving sticks and chasing something. They were making a ruckus and kept attacking the bushes with their sticks. Well, it was loud, and annoying, and I got fed up with it after about ten seconds. I ran down to see what could possibly have possessed them to attack a bunch of plants when they could be instead attacking one another (at least that way whoever was getting attacked had a chance. I mean really--they did not need to be attacking plants!) and naturally scared a few of them off. One of the few that did not leave greatly resembled a young Kiryuu Touga from the Shojou Kakume Utena movie "Adolescence Mokushiroku," so I addressed him. 

"Oi! Gaki!" I remember calling him a brat right off, don't ask me why. "What do you think you're doing to those plants?" 

The boy froze and stared at me for a moment before ducking behind the bush. Seemed he was fairly shy for a squirrely git. I asked him again and he told me that his friends were chasing after a bird. 

"And you wanted to kill it?" I said, or something along those lines. He shook his head and insisted that they only wanted to catch it because it was white and had no way to keep it from flying unless it got hurt. Now then, I'm not much of an animal fan--which is probably the reason I don't eat meat unless I really have to--but I told him to show me where the bird had flown off to and offered to catch it for him. As if on cue the little white feather-ball shot out of the bush right next to my head. It hit my earring with its wing! Which didn't make me too happy... but that's beyond the point. The bird got knocked off balance when it ran into my earring and floundered in the air for a few seconds--just long enough for me to catch it. 

For some reason that I will never understand, I'm sure, when I grabbed it the bird stopped fluttering about. It just sat there in my hands and looked at me with its wide eyes. The chibi-Touga clapped and made a sort of 'squee' sound. I was going to give the bird to him right then but his mother came and dragged him away. So I was stuck with the bird. And I mean that quite literally--it wouldn't fly away when I opened my hands up. It sat there and nuzzled my hand for Ra's sake! 

So I gave in to its cuteness and named it Tenshi and brought it home. 'Neesan was positively thrilled that I had brought home a bird instead of a snake like the last time... What? I was eight! I didn't think there was anything wrong with bringing a snake home! It looked pretty! Yeah, so it kind of tried to bite me... But at least it wasn't another King Cobra! 

At any rate, I've got to be going now. Tenshi-chan is twittering around my head trying to make a nest. In my hair. OW! Damnit, I'm giving this thing to Ryou next time I see him. 

That and I'm bringing him to the park. 

~*   


Translation & Notes~ 

Monster World~ Ryou's game ^_^; I don't know if it's in the season they cut out, but in the manga Yami no Bakura and Yami's shadow game is Monster World, not Magic & Wizards. It's different. Ryou's incredibly good at it. (Isn't he the master of it or something?) 

Koibito~ "Lover" ^^ non-gender specific. 

Shojou Kakume Utena~ Revolutionary Girl Utena. 

Adolescence Mokushiroku~ Adolescence Apocalypse. The name of the Utena movie. It's positively BEAUTIFUL! Everyone should see it. Be warned though-there's shojou-ai (Girl x girl love) and nudity and I think some implied rape. It's stunning though! 

Gaki~ Just like Malik says--it means brat. 

King Cobra~ In the anime, when Malik was a little kid he and Rishido were playing one night and a snake bit him, which nearly killed him (and Rishido, as his dad beat him up for it). I'm pretty sure it was a King Cobra. I haven't any idea if he really had a pet snake, but it seems like something he would have done.   


Warning for future chapters~ In case you haven't noticed, there has been mention of yamixomote parings and a few others. Shonen ai and shojou ai are my forte! I'm sorry! If anyone turns out to be gay, though, don't worry.. It isn't like there would be anything to make the rating go up, and it won't be anything major. The male cast of Yugioh just doesn't seem to suit their female counterparts as far as I've seen, so I hope implied shonen-ai isn't a problem. The story will most certainly not focus on it if I _do_ bring it in! 

Malik: Bah. That's just because you don't want to see us paired with any other girls. 

Yes. That. Please don't flame me on it until it actually happens though! ^_^; Onegai? (Please?) R&R! Depending on people's reactions I might try to keep it out.... >_>; 


	6. Chapter 6 Woman Power?

Kyaa! Gomen nasai! Everyone, I'm so sorry. I've had this chapter finished for about a week now, but we've been having some serious problems with the new computer, and I had to pass my Algebra class, and... @_@ 

Malik: And she can't multitask at all. You got distracted by your Seto*Jyou fic too! 

Yes. That. Expect one of those coming up in a while ^_^; Wowie, I've got a lot of thank you's to get to, so I'd best do that now. And I've commandeered Kumagorou-chan and Ryuuichi from Gravitation (Read that manga!) for the disclaimer, so here they are: 

Ryuuichi: Megami doesn't own Yuu-Gi-Ou! ^_^ Right Kumagorou-chan? 

Kumagorou-chan: ^-^ *flop* 

Ryuuichi: And she doesn't have any money either! ^_^ Because she's got no job. So we can't sue her. And if anyone has a problem, I'll hit you with my KUMAGOROU-BEAM ^O^ 

They're so cute *_* Must write Gravitation fic too... 

Reviews~ 

Adelianna~ Yeah ^_^; I messed up. I needed to fix it...and I did! Yay! I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to keep it completely out... I can delay it for a while, but that's about it. And like I said earlier, it won't be big. ^^; And I figure Megami just weaseled a picture away from him. She's got powers like that! (Malik: =_= nutcase author.) 

Bakura's Baby~ *glomples* Yay! Glad you think it's fun, Rain-chan! ^O^ Lovie muchles! (Yes, I know she read the other chappie, but still XD) 

Cygna-hime~ The Utena movie is incredible. But it's also very confusing, and implies a lot of things. Malik's going to need to touch on the 'slimy/scaly/poisonous/gross animal' thing (Malik: QUIT MAKING PROMISES AND WRITE THAT CHAPTER!), and there's another snake in this chappie just for ye ^O^ 

RBMIfan~ I am trying! ^_^; Really, really hard. But it's not working so wonderfully, because I'm also writing a shounen ai manga for TokyoPop's contest. And in doing that, I've been reading quite a few other manga of the same type, like FAKE and Gravitation. And just for clarification (this is pretty much for everyone, not just you =D) shounen ai focuses on the feelings rather than the physical nature of a relationship. It's fluffy and sappy and gets flowers all over the place ^_^; even Card Captor Sakura had some in it, and that's as deep as this will go. Especially since I don't plan on actually getting Malik with anyone for a long, long time. Okay, end of group announcement ^_^;; I'm glad you count this as a story! I may write something to parallel this, just to get some more dialogue in... Malik's POV is fun, but I think I want some other characters to have some say, too ^_^; 

Jay Kamiya~ You never e-mailed me, Jay-san ;O; *sobble* Again, whatchoo mean 'normal entry'? O-o. 

Evil Chibi Malik~ Yay! I love you! ^O^ Not only do you have a totally sexy name, but you also don't hate shounen ai! ^--^ I hope you like the story from herein, seeing as I'm trying to put shounen ai in without actually having any (does that make sense?@_@) 

Innocence Within~ Aiyaa, you're so flattering! XD;; I'll be sure to check up on your story once my internet-bound computer comes back to life. Plasmacompie got a virus ;o; or something. And no, I haven't got a beta. I once had Pikachumaniac beta for me though (the first chapter)! It was such an honor ^__^; Depending on the length of your chapters, I may be able to beta for you ^^ 

Escuro de la Lus~ No problem, I was glad to send it to you ^^ Gotta keep my readers happy! Malik, if I ever get to it, should be paired with Bakura Ryou. But it's far more interesting if he doesn't get with him yet! (Malik: Why are you matching me up with my friend? You nutcase!) But, because I'm getting so much opposition on the shounen ai thing, there may not be anything for a long while. Tenshi is fun! My friend has decided to write a Ryou journal (not that I've been able to get her to post it yet..) And Tenshi's making a cameo ^-^ If I'm lucky and can bribe her with Tsuzuki x Hisoka pretties, I may get her to colab. with me on this. Two stories running parallel! Wh00t! 

Queen Ali B~ ooh, Yami lives with you? ^O^ how utterly sexy! Malik lives here with me, completely against his will. But I give him chocolate, so he's happy. (Malik: It's less expensive than the rent at Suppi's house =_=) And yes, Kurama-kun is very pretty! *giggle* Malik's earrings are so big, how can't Tenshi-chan run into them? And yeah, Isis will dote on him until we give him to Ryou. ^_^; I figure it's better to lose a guy to another guy than to lose him to a girl. Because then it isn't like "oh my god! She's better than me!" ^^ 

Erato~ Don't cry, Erato-san! ^O^ *hands you big Malik plush* The story's going to continue, no problem! Even if I've got to bribe my friends to let me use their internet connections to update (which I will)! I'm so glad you like it ^_^ I've read a lot of very beautiful Malik stories, and almost all of them have been yaoi (ohohoh XD; I'm so corrupt) or shounen ai. I love Malik with great gobs of love XD! (Malik: O-O help me.)   
  


Yay! Nine reviews for this chapter! ^_^ (thirteen, if I'd count Queen Ali B-san's reviews for the other chapters with it, along with Rainchan's review for chapter four =D) I'm so happy! I've really got to work on updating better. And with Plasmacompie dead, it looks like I'll have a lot more writing time... (*sob* my poor Plasmacompie! MY GRAVI PLAYLIST *SOB*) 

Oh, warnings for this chapter: Yes... there's shounen ai. But it's more like... blatant denial of the existence of it. You'll like! And Megami's back. Wiccan beliefs around, and some incredibly mild anti-Christian stuff. Nothing horrible, I probably shouldn't even be warning you all in advance. ^_^; Please R&R!   
  


~*Friday July 11th, Woman Power?*~ 

They say that if two people share a dream, it must mean they're somehow connected. Best friends, lovers, family...something like that. Dreams are also a reflection of yourself. A child in a dream is your child-self and water is every conceivable emotion known to man. Or woman. Imagery made by the subconscious while you're sleeping--that's all dreams are 'supposed' to be. If you dream of killing someone, you're dissatisfied with a part of yourself that the person you kill reminds you of. Or something like that. 

Now then, I've been talking to Megami about the strange dreams I've been having of late. She's my shrink for free (although she says that when she comes to Japan I have to take her out on the town and show her everywhere on my bike). Before I share her response, I should probably share my dream (that would only make sense, ne?) just as it was when I sent it to her. 

It was raining. And I was lying on my back in a garden full of flowers... roses, pinks, iris', lilies, daises, all sorts of flowers. It was incredibly dark, even though I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be daytime. I could not move; my body was ignoring me. Like I was half asleep. And my chest was hurting a lot. I think I was crying... at least, I wanted to. But the sky was crying for me, so I could not tell. 

I lay there for a while before I heard footsteps and I got scared. I don't think that I was supposed to be in the garden. In my fear I finally managed to get up and hide beneath a rose bush. The roses were a deep, dark crimson, and the thorns were even tipped a rusty red. Whatever was coming had a cloak on, so I couldn't see their face or anything. It passed me--I was terrified out of my mind! My blood even ran cold, and everything around me got blurry. My heart was racing, and I blacked out. Well, I think I did, because the next thing I knew, I was being held by someone. I didn't open my eyes to see who it was, though. I knew it wasn't 'neesan, and I was sure that it was not Rishido. I had changed, too. I was a little kid again. I got scared; what if it was Yami no Malik? Trembling, I tried to squirm away from him, but his hold tightened on my shoulders. And he spoke. 

"Daijobu desu. It's okay." 

Suddenly, I felt better--like a huge weight was taken off of my shoulders. The person holding me wasn't an enemy or a stranger or anything like that--it was Ryou! I was incredibly relieved. And, by added bonus, he had said that it would be fine. Therefore, it would be. Just like that, I stopped crying, and the rain stopped. Ryou stood up and helped me to my feet before he knelt before me so that we were eye-level with one another. I was about as high as his waist, which is not much. He told me not to be sad because I was not alone. And someone was looking after me who wouldn't want me upset. Then these beautiful white wings came out of his back and he hovered up into the sky. The clouds behind him parted, and he smiled at me. 

"Someone is always watching after you," he said, "and I'll be there if you need anything." Then he flew up into the sky and disappeared, followed by the clouds. I was happy, even though he was gone, because he said I would not be alone. Everything was sparkling and bright, like some kind of weird filter had been put over the sky. 

I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Inside one of the rose bushes, something was stirring. I went to see what it was, and it was a pure white snake! Nearly two feet long, and coiled around the base and trunk of the rose bush. She came out and climbed up my arm, then started talking to me. I felt at peace. Don't remember what she said, but it made me feel really good about myself and my situation. Then 'neesan woke me up. 

Now then. I don't really know how I linked the snake to being female before it spoke to me. But I do know that she was a good omen (unlike certain cobras I've met...) and Megami agreed with me. She said that the snake, as far as she knew, represented the Goddess. Snake is powerful and represents sexual, spiritual, and feminine energy. She then said that snake must have had a good reason to come to me in the dream, and that if I'd seen it before, it was most likely one of my spirit animals. Totem animals, that is. It's a Native American belief. She also thinks that Tenshi-chan is probably a guardian as well, and she's pressed me to find out what kind of bird she is. 

"The red roses represent many possible things," she said. "When people die, their caskets are lined with red silk, and red bouquets of roses are usually left at the graves. This is kind of old fashioned, but it used to be what positively everyone did. Red is also associated with blood with women. For obvious reasons." This was in an e-mail, and I've got to admit, it made me laugh. 'Neesan was reading over my shoulder and wigged out at seeing it. ...Good Ra, I'm picking up on her American terms. Anyhow, 'neesan freaked and went 'Oh God, who are you talking to about that sort of thing, Malik!?' or something along those lines. I laughed, though, because up until a few months ago, I wouldn't have known what she was talking about. Temporary train-derailment time! 

According to Ryou and Yuugi, they learned about the whole 'growing up' 'girl to woman' 'boy to man' (which Yuugi accidently said as 'boy to woman' 'girl to man'. He freaked out, and Ryou and I laughed our asses off. Damn was that funny.) in fifth and sixth grade. Ryou learned when he was eleven, and Yuugi when he was twelve. Given that time table, it makes perfect sense for me to be oblivious, as I was literally under a rock for most of my life, before joining and taking over the GHOULS. I learned after 'neesan had an embarrassing accident of sorts, involving Yami no Bakura and dirty laundry bombs. (No, I don't know why we have wars with that stuff... suffice to say, we're nuts?) Back to the intended story. 

"Maybe you're getting in touch with a feminine guardian?" Megami's e-mail went on to explain, "Or maybe a guardian wants to get something across to you? Have you ever seen a woman in your dreams protecting you?" The answer to that is, yes, I have. A woman with striking beauty--she's got onyx hair going down to her waist, and these positively stunning indigo eyes. She's young, not much older than 'neesan, and looks like her quite a bit. Sans eye color, of course. We--that being 'neesan, Rishido, and I--think that she could be mother. Again, Megami agreed on that over the phone. She also told me that everything in a dream is a representation of yourself, to a degree. Seeing Ryou come tell me that everything would be okay, and more importantly believing him, meant to her that there's a part of me with a positive need to be protected above anything. And that he seems to represent that protection I needed after seeing the cloaked thing. She also asked if he was the most important person in my life, outside of the family, and then somehow managed to get into a rant about a manga called "Prologue to Forever". It's a shounen ai manga, and therefore, I'll probably not read it. Especially since she was ranting about Kagerou being so much like me, and Aida being like Ryou, and... 

Well, she went off topic after that. The gist I got from the dream was that I'm either totally insane, or a part of me is still scared of Yami no Malik. I'm going to just assume that he's the man in the cloak. And that I'm still going to Ryou for help. And the Goddess wants to protect me, or somehow connect to me to get a point across. I guess that makes sense, and I like the idea of something wanting me to be safe. I don't much care for the Christian all encompassing God thing, though, because when I was younger, chichiue was the equivalent to God. And he was all encompassing. But he was a monster a lot of the time, always in the name of his warped justice. And God is like a Pharaoh. Good for the masses, but not necessarily the individual. But that's just what I think. Goddess appeals to me more, because it makes more sense for Her to be compassionate. Women are like that, men aren't. Oh Ra, I'm turning into a woman's activist... 

I told Ryou about the dream yesterday over coffee. "I had a dream just like that!" he said, "I was in a garden just like you described. And I saw a little kid lying on the path, half way underneath a rose bush." he then described the same scene as I had seen in the dream, but from his angle. He didn't really think that the boy was me though, when he had it, because he had no tattoos around his eyes, or my earrings, and no scars on his back. He also said something about the eyes being very different. "That was you, then?" I remember him looking surprised when I nodded. "But, Malik-kun, he was so scared... you're always helping me when I'm upset, why would you be that sad now? Since everything's said and done, I'd expect you to be happy now." I told him that I had no idea why my dream-self was so upset. He looked dubious, and I smiled. 

"Do I look sad now?" I asked him, gesturing around. "I'm in a nice cafe, with some damn good coffee, with the best company I can imagine! I'm positively spoilt!" Ryou seemed to believe me, at least a little. That or he recognized my emotional mask and decided to let me deceive myself. He knows me very well, but sometimes seems to let me make mistakes because they're my choices. He's strange like that. I don't know if it's really my choice (Well, I guess it could be, but...), but I'm frankly terrified to drop my mask. Or my walls, for that matter. I'm scared that I'll never get the control back. I don't trust myself in the least. 

Somehow, though, I think that if Ryou told me to make that blind leap, I would. He's my best friend and closest ally, even if I usually spend more time with Yami no Bakura. Bak' and I could spend a month together in the same pants (Get your minds out of the gutter!!) and one day with Ryou would mean a hundred times more. He and I just click; we've got a Leyline running between us, and it draws us closer every day. Bakura and I aren't that close. 

But, I can't help but wonder, just how close will it bring us? When I'm around Ryou, I feel so peaceful, and that's not something I get to be often. Every day seems so special... and wipe that grin off your face, Megami, I told you I wasn't pining for him! 

Cough. Cough I say! I know you're all reading this and getting the complete and total wrong idea! Ryou and I are just friends, nothing more! And all of you rabid yama nashi ochi nashi imi nashi fangirls, go write something about Pharaoh and Seto! I've said it before, I'll say it again: Ryou and I are only friends. And that's how it's going to stay. More to the point of 'oh, but you're so cute' (Damn you, Megami, your voice is talking to me in my head. Stop laughing!), I'd best remind you that I firmly believe that Bak' should be involved with Ryou. They're perfect opposites! It's part of the whole yami and omote...thing. Two halves of the soul, come together to be one being. See? It's like soul mates. And my yami didn't count for shit, because he was just my hate personified by the sen'en rod's magic. 

...Ryou, Bak, if either of you reads this, don't kill me. It's not my fault you compliment each other so perfectly! Nya! 

~*~ 

Wow, long chappie. See? Not too bad? ^_^; Sorry about all the big words and stuff. I was in one of those moods. So many notes! Math does that to me O-o; Please R&R! ^_^; 

Translation & Notes~ 

Daijobu desu~ Basically 'It's okay'. Desu is a word that gets put into a sentence to confirm a positive meaning, while daijobu is like 'it/you/I (am) okay'. Desu is parallel to janai/ja arimasen, which would be negative. Similarly, daijobu ka would be 'Are you okay?' (Ka being a spoken question mark). 

Chichiue ~ non-formal way to say father. It's closer to "daddy", I think, than anything. That's what Malik calls his da' ^^ 

yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi~ Yaoi. It's the acronym. It means 'no peak, no point, no meaning', in reference to, well...yeah. Gay mens. I think it applies only for original, short manga and doujinshi(fan comics), but I'm not entirely sure.   
  


"Prologue to Forever" ~ My manga ^_^ If I'm lucky, the first installment will be published in TokyoPop's contest this year. But if I'm not, the manga may appear online ^^ It's pretty fluffy. Aida and Kagerou belong to me, though, and they're in the process of being copyrighted! So no touchie! XP 

GHOULS ~ In the manga and anime, Malik's gang was the GHOULS, not Rare Hunters. 

'Boy to woman' 'girl to man'~ In fifth grade, a friend of mine messed that up when we were having sex education. She said "Why are we watching 'Boy to Woman' 'Girl to Man'? They're exactly the same!', or something like that. It's always been a sort of joke between me and my friends from back then ^_^; (Never say fungus when your teacher means flanges!) 

The grades thing~ In Japan, a fifth grader would be eleven years old, instead of in America, where a fifth grader is usually ten. They're a year ahead of us, basically. ^^ 

Coffee ~ Yes, I know he can't have it. You honestly think Malik listens to his doctor? 

The Seto and Yami no Yuugi thing~ If we take it out of being a series, and had it in real life, they would supposedly be world famous rivals. And, seeing as fangirls are crazy like that, Malik would probably not be surprised if people tried to pair them up. After all, Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp have a following, and they're only in one movie together! (YEAH BABY XD) 

Yami and omote thing ~ Out of curiousity, if they're supposed to be complete opposites, wouldn't one have to be straight and the other gay? XD I'm just saying! 


	7. Chapter 7 Lag much?

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!! *GROVELS* We have had such hectic-ness here including breakups and dating and talent show and viruses and being sick and drama and~   
  


Bakura: Take a damn breath woman.   
  


*breathes* Aaaaaand I've had writers block. I'm sorry! And for those of you who are violently opposed to the man luff, I've put some non-man luff in -_- be happy. I know that two entries is not much, but I am working on it, and new chappies will be coming forth soon.   
  


Thank you's and such--hell, this will probably delay my posting more, but here we go everyone (I really do love you all!)   
  


ChangeofHeart ~ Senpai, I love you XD You're just great. I hope your mum doesn't block FF.net! I'll eat her!   
  


Escuro de la Lus ~ Yay smiles! This one is mostly bitching. There will be smiles later on, though!   
  


RBMIfan ~ Nyeeeeh, I have a whole essay of things I could say to your review XD; I probably shouldn't say some of them. Please don't take offense-- 

You said you didn't like yaoi and yuri because you're Christian. Well, having been Christian and having not liked it because of the discrimination towards lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgendered indivuals, and otherwise different people (such as, also, Wiccans--which I will avoid getting in to) I really think it's just a little bass ackwards. Modern-day Christianity, that is. Admittedly, yes, there are points in the bible that say that you should not be gay/les/etc. or that any other religion is wrong, but Christianity is about Jesus' teachings. And his basic rule was to love and accept everyone. He wanted everyone to get along and be happy. The Bible is written by men--purely by men, and no doubt all of them were straight--and therefore is really very biased. And over the years, it's been interpreted different ways by different people and denominations of Christianity, and has really gotten a pretty bad name among other religions because of what people have done with it. I, personally, have been avoiding my very liberal church because I'm branching off into Wicca. And that's because I don't feel comfortable there--in the most liberal of environments. Whereas I know that in most other churches, I would be kicked out because I am a- Bisexual, and b- not very Christian. It's sad, I think, that there's so much discrimination in a religion based off of love. 

And I will shut up about that now (sorry for ranting!!). 

To the rest of your review, yay, I love you, XD And here's a bit of fandom terms you might like to know about: 

OOC - Out Of Character 

Lime - not quite a sex scene, somewhere around PG-13, although sometimes closer to PG-16, not that anyone measures by PG-16 ^^ 

Lemon - sex scene, generally graphic ^^ NC-17 

Mary-Sue - I believe it basically means an original character that takes over a story and has everyone in love with her. Same with Gary-Stu. A good example of this character type is Harry Potter (not that I don't love him X3 but it is true)   
  


kaehimi ~ I love you. XD I love all of my readers who like what I've done! I was kind of worried, actually, that people would be mad at me for putting Malik on a computer. He doesn't come across as a very compie-friendly person, IMHO, since he lived underground as a kid and avoids people. Computers don't seem much like his style in the anime, so I've been winging it, and it's coming along much better than I'd planned. It's because of all of my support! ^_^   
  


Evil Chibi Malik ~ Yeah, I've seen him. He's adorable! His Japanese voice actor is so sexy, too. I wanted to marry him X3 The English version makes him sound like he's got a bee in his nose, though. And I'm working on quite a few manga's right now, actually ^^; some joint-work, and some maybe ideas for when I try to publish in Japan. ^_^; 

I'm currently working on a few titles. I won't bore you with them, but I believe... hm, I have one shojou-ai one, and a few shounen-ai ones. No het right now--honestly haven't been able to stomach it lately. Bloody guy friends flaunt their girlfriends so much it makes me sick XD   
  


Adelianna ~ Sorry for taking so long X3 And I would make Malik and Megami have a relationship, except that Megami is me... and I'd feel really bad if I had him date the author O-o; Although that would certainly be tasty(new verb ^_^)! And also, I know that long-distance relationships hurt like absolute hell, and I don't want to put Malik through that. He'll get some het in here, just because you all want it so bad, but eventually there's going to be some shounen-ai. Sorry if it offends anyone--But like I said, it will be very discrete. I'm not going give you guys trauma! That's for my doujinshi ^^   
  


DogsruleW ~ Hu? Forgive me, I don't think I quite got your review O_o;; My parings that I'm most partial to are Seto x Jyou, Malik x Ryou, Bakura x Malik, the yami x omote parings, and some really obscure stuff. In this case, I'm going to try for Malik x Ryou, because it's sweet and hard to get to ^_^ Malik really does need someone to care about, and Ryou seems to me like the best person to pair him with in the series. I would give him to Mai, but I think she would traumatize him...   
  


Seven reviews! Tastes very good, thank you all! ^_^ I'm sorry if I seem a bit bitchy in these, I've been having problems. Do fear my mood swings. And please allow my new yummy Sensei to do the disclaimer--   
  


Muraki (Yami no Matsuei): huu. Yes. Meggie does not own Yuugiou, nor does she own any other series mentioned in this chapter. She's also flat broke, so don't bother suing her. I'll rape you with Mr. Uppy. *twisted grin*   
  


Aa, you have to love him ^_^ Everyone read Yami no Matsuei and observe how great Muraki-sensei is! And please enjoy this chapter!   
  


~*~ Thursday, October 9th; Damn Biology ~*~ 

Good gods it's been a while, hasn't it? Forgive me. Missed writing about Ryou's birthday too--damn! Sorry for all of that. I've been relatively sick lately, and my hideous Biology teacher got the notion to assign a big project about 'cells'. The Cell Game. Sounds like Dragonball Z, doesn't it? Gave me such spazzes... 

First off, lemme explain my assignment, and then why it perturbed me. Basically, we had to make a game involving plant cells and animal cells that would somehow educate the morons playing it. Such fun, right? Right. We were allowed to partner up during class. I was sick with a terrible flu thing that only made my heart condition worse by the second--to the point where I was fainting every time I got up to go to the bathroom. (Not fun. It's just not.) I wound up in the hospital--which smelled terrible--and got treated by a scary Russian woman named Emily. She makes Kaiba look short! And she makes that fat guy at the museum look a bit thinner than he really is. The woman's huge--and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Don't need her breaking any of my limbs to get me back in that place. Nope. 

Anyhow. I wound up missing partner choosing day. Yuugi wound up partnering with Ryou and Pharaoh, Honda with Otogi, Seto with Jyounouchi (oh that must have been so stunning...), and Anzu with that creepy purple-haired girl who keeps staring at Ryou. Miho? I think that's her name. Naturally, I would partner up with Yami no Bakura, but he wasn't 'mature' (*snort*) enough to take the class, so he's back in the freshman science class, where they relearn the metric system. Very sad. Had to work on my own. 

I want on record that she was a complete and total moron about it--what with completely grading me wrong. She even wrote on the rubric thing "how is this a cell game?". I really don't think she looked properly. Bright glittery green British wrapping paper with "The Cell Game" written across the top in plain sight ought to have given that away. Or maybe the thirty five hand-written cards with questions on them. Ooh, maybe the bleedin' answer key should have given at least an irking, mm? 

No, damnit, I am not bitter. What makes you think that? 

But then, oh ho, she wanted to know how to play because she couldn't find the rule book. Now, not that anyone reading this has ever seen my game (unless you're in my class, in which case, have I traumatized you yet?) but the thing is as tacky as I could make it without adding a disco ball. Bright green glittery wrapping paper, bright neon blue paper on top of that, a flipping highlighter green board with neon pink, blue, yellow, and orange squares. Glittery writing... Hell, it hurt my eyes to work on it! And if anyone has seen the stuff I stick on my binders, you'd think I was color blind or something. Sexy rainbow highlighters. 

Oh yes. The grade. Damn that was a laugh. She gave me half credit the first time. Had to show her that, yes, there was an answer key with rules and references. Yes, the cards were hand-made. Yes, the Cell Game had something to do with cells. And no, I did not copy some lame...Monopoly game to make it! She gave me 3/4 credit. 

Oh well, better than half credit. 

~*~ Thursday November 6th; New Kid~*~ 

Again, sorry for the lag (and for not getting that lovely rant up early enough) everyone. 'Neesan's computer got four viruses in a row, 'n' it died. Completely. I don't think I've ever seen her so pissed. Someone e-mailed it to her... 

On the up side, I have a whole crapload of news for y'all! Oh yes I do. 

Now then, we've gotten a transfer student from India at Domino Highschool. Don't honestly have any idea why she's here--probably something to do with her dad's business or something--but hey, 'ere she is. And I've got to say, the girl's got it. Before her uniform could be fitted, she came to school in a sari. That was effing sexy! (Oh god, I think I hit puberty, I'm talking about a girl's good looks... save me!) 

Her name's Anai, but most of the school calls her Ami. She has really dark brown eyes and long brown hair. I think she generally wears it in a braid, but I've only known her for a week or so. She ties it with golden ribbons to off-set her bindi. Even though it's probably against the dress code, she gets to wear them because it's part of her culture. Kind of like my earrings, I suppose... 

Anyway. Her Japanese is really very lacking. She can speak English well enough, but not much else that would be useful here. She can speak Arabic. 

Guess who is the only other person in Domino High who can speak Arabic? 

That's right. Me. (Gee, maybe the fact that I'm Egyptian has something to do with it) So I've spent the past two days or so meeting her family and digging back into my memory so that I can speak my proper Arabic without mixing Coptic or Japanese too much. It's pretty hard. 'Neesan and Rishido are being really helpful though, and we've all gone back to using Arabic around the house so that it's easier on her. She comes over a lot--sometimes brings her brother Faka'Anaua over, too. He's eight years old and is completely and totally infatuated with 'neesan. She babies him, but I really don't think he minds. Weirdos. 

Anai is really very nice. She's also incredibly pretty, like I said. When we were talking after school on her first day, she was acting pretty strangely and said that she was glad to finally make a good friend where her dad works. Bakura was nearby at the time and was evidently watching us, as he came over and "complimented" me on my blush. I almost smacked him. 

She seemed to think it was funny, though, and asked (naturally, in Arabic) who my amusing friend was. Now, for those of you who don't know already, or are just morons, Yami no Bakura (along with the other Yami's) are all from Egypt too. True, Coptic is his bailiwick, not Arabic, but he was drifting around Egypt once he was in the Ring long enough to learn it. Anai-chan was startled that he spoke her language, and was completely flustered for the remainder of the afternoon. The three of us walked home, all talking in Arabic, and I think we may have scared some people en route. 

~*~   
  


Notes and Translations -   
  


Hideous Biology teacher - Yes, this is dedicated to you, you sadistic horrid woman. Loathe my Bio teacher everyone!   
  


Highlighter - high lighter? I donno. Looks better as one word. Seko darling has Hi-lighters X3   
  


Bindis - the stick-on forehead gems from India. Very pretty. Expensive, though--everyone buy them! ^_^ My bindi case says "BINDIS Traditionally worn to signify the marital status of Indian women, bindis are now commonly worn and decorative cosmetic accents."   
  


Faka'Anaua, Anai - Stole these names out of my yearbook ^_^; I thought they were pretty. Oh! There's someone with a last name of Malik at my school, too, isn't that completely sexy?   
  


Coptic - Yes. Early Egyptian language before they got influenced by the Arabs, I believe. Thank you Senpai for letting me know about this X3   
  


The Egyptian Yami's - yeah, they're all technically from Egypt ^_^; Just for clarification, Yami no Malik was not a separate entity from Malik originally. More like an alternate personality gone horribly wrong. But he's from Egypt, and so's Pharaoh, and so's Yami no Bakura ^_^ so all's good (I don't want people thinking that Yami no Malik was in Ancient Egypt because of me O-o)   
  


Bailiwick - =3 I love you Seko 


	8. Chapter 8 Sweet Song of Corruption

Wee, here's another chapter, everyone! ^_^ Hope you like. More heterosexual stuff for you people. Forgive lag and my bad poetry. No one did beta for me, so there are bound to be mistakes bleedin' everywhere, but I wanted to get it out. I've got a few more in the works ^_^   
  


I've been working on a SetoxYami / YuugixYami story of late, might post it in a few weeks. And I've also been working on a doujinshi for Pikachumaniac (GO read her fics! She's so wonderful--even beta's for me! ^_^ Love her!), which I might turn into a fan fic sometime soon.   
  


Here we go, reviews and responses for all of you ^^   
  


willowherby ~ Mine! ^_^ I luff you, even though you start writing in your funky/fruity...I dunno what sort of talk you use in your reviews XD So hard to read! Get off your butt and read Yami no Matsuei. It's the best! ^ ^ But don't watch the dub. You'll be traumatized.   
  


Innocence Within ~ I'm glad no one minds Anai too terribly much! She's a pain in the ass for me to write. I can hardly think of what to do... Not especially infatuated with any Anai types myself, so it's hard to figure out how to obsess over her ^_^;   
  


DemonLady1 ~ Erm, this soon enough? I'm technically grounded and I'm not really allowed to be on the computer at all, but I've been trying...   
  


Lynseyax Heparedds ~ Aiyaa! Again with the don't make Malik gay stuff... ~_~;; I'm glad you like the story. And I love all of the reviews I'm getting. But the man is no where near straight, from what I've seen. As far as flat-out cannon, he's freaking asexual. I'm making him bi to please y'all, but really... I said in chapter five that he was going to be gay, I'm not going to change it now. On the upside for all of you, I'm not making this technically yaoi... Like I said in chapter five: Yaoi is the acronym for yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi. "No peak, no point, no meaning". There will not be any malexmale sex in this story. Therefore, it will never actually be yaoi. Shounen ai at very best--BL, technically. But I'm not writing yaoi and I won't traumatize you all.   
  


Aril ~ Eek, I get consequences? O_O;; kowaii desu! Thank you for loathing her with me... don't hurt me?   
  


kaehimi ~ Yay unique ^--^ thankies. Love you much   
  


Evil Chibi Malik ~ You I love. With great gobs of love. I already e-mailed a response to your review! ^_^;; And I positively love the sexy rainbow gradient thing in the back of your e-mail. I want it. With lust. ^_^;; Thank you for meh pixi stix--are they purple? ^ ^   
  


Jay Kamiya ~ Ah, non-dark. ^^; Non-dark is hard for me, especially since Malik's always so...pensive-esque. He's never smiling in the series! Except when he pretends to be 'Namu', but... ^^;   
  


And, for the oh-so sexy disclaimer, we have... Umm... Shigeru(Gary). From Pokemon. Because he's flipping sexy.   
  


Shigeru: ...I hate you. *cough* Erm. Lessee here. Megami's broke. Doesn't own a damn thing. Can't even buy new pants. She does, however, own Anai's character, and she also owns the song/poem in this chapter. Don't steal it from her, because then she goes on with this awful crying and whining for days...   
  


I'm going to give you to Muraki-sensei.   
  


Shigeru: O_O; erm. Yes. That. So she doesn't own Yuugiou. And she wants Malik's pants. That's all. *leaves*   
  


^__^ please make with the reviewing! I'll update more *_*   
  
  
  


~*~ Wednesday, November 12th; Sweet Song of Corruption~*~ 

My Ra. I have been corrupted beyond all belief. I'm not so officially messed up it isn't even funny. 

Well, actually, it is pretty damn funny, since I got Yami no Bakura to laugh so hard that he cried. But that isn't the point. I think I'm developing some sort of crush on Anai-chan. And it is positively sickening! I see her and I feel all...giddy. And I smile like a moron. Just about every time I see her... 

Bah. I don't like this love stuff. It's so superficial. 

Not that I don't like her personality... 

She's really...perky. But not in a freaky way like Anzu or Miho! With Anai, it's just natural and beautiful. She smiles at everyone, and she isn't like... annoyingly hyper all the time. And even though she's always smiling, laughing at little things, really seems to like it here in Japan... 

And then there are times when she's serious. I was at her house the other day for dinner. We were sitting on the roof watching the sunset, and she started singing this sad song. I don't know if she was singing to herself or to me or what, but the lyrics made me want to cry. And the melody was incredibly haunting. It went something like this:   
  


"I have been waiting 

Throughout this story 

For a moment to make 

My dreams come true   
  


Through my waiting 

I have found you 

And I know what I 

Must do... 

When I was younger 

I thought I lost you 

And now I've got 

Everything back   
  


Now I know I've 

Only moments 

Before I take my leave 

Of you...   
  


Please remember 

When I've left you 

I'll have all I need... 

It's you."   
  


The flipping song gave me shivers. I stared at her for a long time afterwards, studying her face. She looked so somber... almost sad. The sun had set by then. When I was about to ask what was wrong, she turned with her usual smile and apologized for being depressing and stood. "Let's go to dinner." she said, and we went. It was strange... I don't think I've ever heard such a sad song. It was really heartfelt. I told 'neechan about it and she said it sounded like there was more to Anai-chan than it seemed. 

But how does that work? She and I tell each other everything--dreams, wishes, ideas, stories about when we were little kids... She even talks about how wonderful it is to see so much of the world. Anai-chan has even been to New Zealand. I envy her. The girl has been absolutely everywhere. 'Cept maybe Antarctica, but... why would her dad go there? 

I think she might be homesick. I mean... Going from India, to Africa, to America, back to India, and now to Japan... Hell, I miss Egypt, and I've only been here a year. She spends more time abroad than she does in her own home with her whole family. It's just her mother, father, and brother as is. Her four older sisters and their husbands are back in India. And evidently, so is the guy she's supposed to marry in three years. She knows him very well, but they don't keep in touch, and he's older by a few years. He's evidently pretty nice to her, but acts like she's a sister more than a bride-to-be. 

I'll admit, that made me pretty jealous. He gets to marry her, he had a choice, and she didn't. She says she's okay with it, but... I would have had to marry 'neesan if dad had his way. Keeping the bloodline as pure as possible, after all... 

In any case. It doesn't honestly matter. I am not going to rant about Anai-chan anymore. 

Right. 

... 

I'm done. 

~*~   
  


Hope y'all like! Hm... notes for this one... None! Wow! There will be notes in upcoming chapters. I'll compensate later, don'cha worry ^ ~ Please R&R, the next chapters will be longer. 


	9. Chapter 9 Rolling Hills of Wyoming Angst

And I'm back again! Yay! Hope the chappie is forthcoming enough for you all. Again with the lack of beta-ing, but oh well X3 Please enjoy it. Next might be out in a week or so... But I've got a good four chapters ready in case of writers block! Woo! And I'm sorry if it's somewhat short. The next few should be at least a little longer.   
  


Reviews-   
  


Jessy-Baka ~ Jess, I luff you. Everyone go read her review! It's chock full of information y'all need to know! ^_^ And you're not whiney at all, dove, you've got reason to be how you are ^ ^   
  


Innocence Within ~ Oh, don't worry, he's got reason for it. It'll all become clear soon! The main reason she was able to gain his trust is because she comes across as so honest to him and really doesn't ask any questions. It's something she's got in common with someone else, ne? ^ ~ Don't worry, I won't let her take control of any other chappies like this. Well... she will, but it won't be too terrible. And she's just one of those people...well, I'll let Malik explain that in future chappies. ^^ Don't worry, the story isn't going to end with this paring... it's too easy. I'd probably hang myself.   
  


Angel ~ it's up, it's up! XD   
  


kaehimi ~ There's SHEEP? O_O Oh my god, I require sheep... Have you read Megatokyo? Vibrating sheep of death!   
  


Dark-necrophhia666 ~ I think "Malik" is a common last name. It does, after all, mean "king" or something similar. It's nearly impossible to find pictures of him because of it! (Malik: *Grumblebitchmoan*)   
  


Evil Chibi Malik ~ Luff you ECM-chan. You give me joy. And YAY Malik plushie -^^-   
  


Queen Ali B ~ (Chappie 7 review:) I'll probably send you more of those update letters. And yus, the teachers are from hell. Don't worry, I'm jinxed too! 

(Chappie 8 review:) I've seen some Yami no Malik x Isis pictures, actually... they perturb me a bit. And I've got a Malik x Isis picture in one of my binders (he was so pretty in it ;-;) I've got Yami no Yuugi's pants! ^_^ Black leather yum! But my Malik-esque pants are too light and have paint on them! *cries*   
  


rikus-angel ~ (Chappie 7 review:) Metric system is much easier than inches and stuff. I like it better, actually. Easier to use. And what does this Malik at your school look like? XD (Malik: You've got a girlfriend, don't go looking for clones of me!) And yay for undying love for highlighters!   
  


Jay Kamiya ~ And we're reading, and we're reading... ^ ^   
  


Lynseyax Heparedds ~ Mansex is a pain in the ass to write (believe me, people keep telling me so). I'm glad you're willing to put up with it! Your outlook is a lot better than that of a lot of people's I know. And yay for not having lost you! I wouldn't be surprised if I lose a few readers soon... Got some trauma for little Malik-chan in the works. (Malik: I hate you.) 

(Chappie 8 review:) Lookie, I'm continuing! ^ ^   
  


And as for warnings and disclaimers, we've got Satoshi and Pikachuu! Yay for Pokemon grooves!   
  


Satoshi(Ash): Uh, Meggie doesn't own this. She doesn't own the Laramie Project, which is by Moisés Kaufman and the Members of Tectonic Theatre Project. Yuugiou is Kizuki Takahashi-sensei's.   
  


Pikachuu: Pikapiii...   
  


Satoshi: Oh yeah! ^_^; and she's broke. Still. She got jipped babysitting last night, so she's still broke. Suing won't do much good...   
  


Shigeru: *pops in* And homophobes beware; there's a crapload of stuff in this. Please don't bitch at her about it, because then she cries...   
  


That said, do enjoy the story! ^ ^ Reviews are tasty--twelve in one chapter! I love you all!   
  


~*~ Tuesday, November 18th; Rolling Hills of Wyoming Angst ~*~   
  


Went to see a nearby school's production of The Laramie Project, a really depressing play about real people. What they really said. It made me cry--which is something I just do not do. For those of you who don't know, The Laramie Project is a play about... well, it's a collection of bits and pieces of interviews, news bits, and journal entries done by a cast of actors that went through Laramie, Wyoming after Matthew Shepard was killed. Now then, it wasn't really all that well known here in Japan, but Megami required that I see it. There was a small group producing it in English, and I went with Ryou and Yuugi. Had to explain to them what was going on, though. It was so sad... 

Right. The actual story... In 1998, October... 7th, I believe, a young college freshman named Matthew Shepard was at a bar. Two guys came to him and offered to give him a ride home. They say that they planned to mug him, but... Well, it didn't turn out that way. 

The two guys took him out to the prairie and tied him to a wooden fence and beat him with a rifle butt, then kept abusing him until he stopped begging them to stop. Then they left him there. 

Eighteen hours later, a guy found him... He was rushed to the hospital, went into a coma, and died on October 12th around midnight. All of America was watching it on television--it was a really big deal. Anyone care to find out why? 

Because he was gay. 

Not pretty. 

The whole bleedin' nation was in an uproar. It went international, but--well, hell, I didn't hear about it. I was only eleven. Still in Egypt. 

Anyway--That up there was the back story. The play is, like I said, a bunch of interviews. It tells the story of what the people in Laramie feel after the fact... Starting four months after it happened and over the next two years. I'm not doing much of a job describing it, but the play is amazing. Yami no Bakura looked affected by it too, and that's really saying something. Anai didn't get to come, but... I don't think I'd really want to have her see me crying. Just one of those things. 

Ryou, Yuugi and I had a sobfest of sorts afterwards. And yes, I'm man enough to admit that. We went out during intermission and privately cried outside where it was cold. No one saw us. We went back in and cried throughout the second and third acts, then cried with everyone. The actors came out to do their bows and one of the girls was crying. The whole audience gave them a standing ovation. I don't think I've ever seen a school play get that sort of response. Certainly not any we've done at Domino. 

Talked to the actress that was crying during play and talked to her for a little bit. She said that she couldn't help it, even after two months of practicing for the play, and hearing the lines over and over. It's just one of those things. I'd have to say I agree. I'm inclined to go read "Angels in America" now, too. I recommend it! 

I called Megami about it (yay for flat-rate cellphones) and she completely spazzed out. She started ranting about how it was such a sad play, and how it made her cry, how she loved watching her wife(?) play all of his parts, and all this... It was kind of amazing, actually. She went on for a long time. Girl loves babbling. 

Although, I guess I'm one to talk. After all, I told her about Anai when she finally shut up and probably talked twice as long as she did. She laughed at me when I finished ranting, and told me that I was entirely too infatuated for my own good. Kept telling me how cute it was that I was so obsessed with someone so much like Ryou... 

Really don't see the connection between the two of them, but oh well. 

Oh. Also... Meh, Yuugi and Ryou read the journal again. That's not so bad, but now they know about my crush on Anai...as does Yami no Bakura. Not tasty! That's not good! He's going to harass me until I die about this... 

He and I made a promise of sorts, I suppose (probably when we were drunk), never to fall in love. Sad, ne? And he wants to hold me to that. There's a loophole, naturally--I said "I will never fall in love with a woman". So maybe I can weasel out of it... 

Either way, I've gotten more feedback from Yuugi and Ryou. I finally got my own e-mail. And for any of you who wants to know, it's Cursed_Thousand_Tears@yahoo.com. Not original, but who cares? Easy to remember. 

Anywho. Yuugi and Ryou e-mailed me. Yuugi was congratulating me on having found a love interest and was glad that I was adjusting to life so well. He's sweet like that. I've got to admit, I'm really rather fond of him--he's just really great. I'm not at all surprised that he's gotten Kaiba to hang out with us anymore now that I've gotten to know him. (Ack, must not call Kaiba 'Seto'. Damnit, 'neesan, you're going to rub off on me!) The kid's got a magnetic charm like you wouldn't believe. He even got Yami no Bakura to behave. That's hard to do. 

Ryou's e-mail was similar to his last one--I won't post it either. They're kind of personal. But in essence, he said that he was glad for me too, and once again insisted that the arm thing was no big deal. I don't see how it's anything but a big deal, but I'm being repetitive. He also said, quote; "Malik-kun, if you keep blaming yourself for this, I'm going to let Tori-chan nest in your hair. And I know you won't like that!" Heh. He's so cute. Love ya, Ryou. (Not like that, Meg. Hush.) 

Okay, well, 'neesan requires that I go eat my vegetarian soup. Fear it, it's sexy.   
  


~*~   
  


Oh my god, we've got authors' notes. Loads of them.   
  


First off-- 

The Laramie Project - Oh my god, this is the most depressing piece of literature known to Meggie. It's sad. Everyone must read it! It's a real eye-opener. The facts in the entry are all true. Go read it.   
  


Wife - Love him. Just do it. He's the "Truthful Beaver" ^ ^ Go read his flames!   
  


Cursed_Thousand_Tears@Yahoo.com - Yes, we've claimed this e-mail. If you want to talk to Malik, e-mail me there! ^_^   
  


Seto - Yeah, Isis calls him Seto in the manga. Makes me rather ill... love Isis-san dearly, but she doesn't have any right to be so close to him. *cough* Shutting up now.   
  


Veggie soup - Yup. Vegetarian. Isn't that CUTE? ^_^   
  


That's all for this chappie-- I hope you enjoy it. More Anai in the next one, and some man fluff for those of you who are open to it! ^ ~ Please the masses! Feed me reviews! 


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